The Day of Change

It’s been a while since I had time for the 100 word challenge, but here’s my entry for this week.

As the apple fell from her hands, she clutched her throat, gasping for breath. She had been tricked – poisoned. The ground rose towards her and she fell to meet it, gratefully cooling her fevered brow on the dewy grass.

The birdsong, before so sweet to her ears, was now a dreadful cacophony. She pressed her hands to her ears, moaning in pain. Sleep came for her and she welcomed it.

She woke. Hours later – or was it days? The fever was gone and everything was so much clearer now. She knew.

All was not as it seemed in this garden. She must warn Adam.

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15 Responses to The Day of Change

  1. Really original take on the prompt. Those darn apples! :o).

  2. Delft says:

    Ooh, devious. There I was expecting Snow-white…
    Love it!

  3. lorrainefort says:

    hmmm…a delightful look at the fall…all it took was a bite. the line “Sleep came for her and she welcomed it” made me mentally pause…was she going to die? …well done!

  4. Paul says:

    I can’t believe I never even thought of Adam and Eve when considering the prompt. Guess that shows which way I lean (science or religion, hmmm). I enjoyed this, Only one negative comment, the redundancy of “The ground rose to meet her and she fell to meet it”.

    • sjbwriting says:

      I did think about Newton first but couldn’t come up with anything good, Snow White was next but I knew people would expect that from me – Adam and Eve came in 3rd!

      You’re right about the clumsy phrasing. My handwritten version says “towards her” – think I was just half asleep when I typed it up. Couldn’t understand why my written version was spot on the word count and this one was one over – that would explain it!

      Going to change it back now 🙂

  5. Mayumi-H says:

    Nice job, Sally-Jayne! I’m certain you knew where my thoughts were going, at first, with the poisoned apple bit, but I love where you took it. 🙂

  6. GoofyJ says:

    ha ha! Great surprise at the end – I was definitely expecting Snow White. Well done.

  7. Lucid Gypsy says:

    Yep, fooled me too! But i forgive you because you’re so good 🙂

  8. Miriam says:

    You fooled me. 🙂

  9. I love that you made me think Snow White only to lead me to Eve.

  10. Taochild says:

    Taking all my ideas haha. But ya fooled me! Nice twist/ Loved it. But maybe gave me another idea. I will blame you (give you credit?) if it works out 😀

  11. You succeeded in fooling me too into thinking of Snow White rather than Adam and Eve – but that’s maybe because I personally don’t remember the bible associating Eve with poisoned apples; forbidden fruit, yes; poisoned, no. In any event, very nicely written and a good read!! Great take!

    • sjbwriting says:

      Hi Dancing. I don’t think the bible makes any mention of poisoned either – I was just trying to imagine how Eve would have felt when she’d taken that first bite. I guessed that the change from Paradise to a world of suffering in a matter of seconds would have felt like being drugged or poisoned. Maybe I didn’t get quite the effect I was trying for…

  12. Hi SJ. Great take on the prompt, cleverly done. I too was expecting snow white! Love the way your describe how the birdsong changes after she bit the apple. I was wondering about that until I realised it was Eve…

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