Twins

It was a quite a dark prompt for the 100 Word Challenge at Julia’s Place this week. Here’s my effort. Hopefully people will think “Yes – I feel like that sometimes” and not “What a freak”…!

In the dark recess of my mind lives my evil twin. She’s jealous of my life and would spoil it, if she could, with her viciousness. She whispers in my sleep that I shouldn’t dream because they’ll never come true.

She poisons my waking hours telling me I’m a fraud, and that no-one likes me. With venom dripping from her lips she speaks of failure and stupidity. When things go wrong she laughs gleefully and says she told me so.

She doesn’t get out much. I keep her locked in a box crafted from Love, in the tower of Hope, guarded by Contentedness. But sometimes she escapes.

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22 Responses to Twins

  1. ” I keep her locked in a box crafted from Love, in the tower of Hope, guarded by Contentedness.” I love the way this is written; reminds me of some of the Grimms Tales. Truth and fantasy deftly woven together.
    As always, your pieces make great reading. (And I don’t think you’re a freak- I think most of us, if we’re honest enough to admit it, have a demon-like twin lurking trying to knock us down when we are feeling at our lowest ebb)

    • sjbwriting says:

      I think my writing is influenced far more than I care to admit by those Grimm brothers!

      • Mayumi-H says:

        I agree with Anna, here – the imagery of that locked box keeping the twin under control is a great one.
        Nothing wrong with going a bit dark, either. (The prompt sent my brain in that direction, as well, at first.) And, I think we can all relate to that idea of a vicious inner voice, scratching away at our confidence.
        Lovely to read, as always!

        • ventahl says:

          You’re holding a lense up to your psyche, Sal. Careful. But then everyone who submits here can relate to your words, so I think you’re in good company. Think tortured genius comes from having conflicting twins. Think I can see why you push yourself, to keep her in the box, or get her back in the box? btw, At risk of a slap, I would have said ‘peace’, just think it scans better, but, feel free to argue 😉

  2. Maybe your twin needs to meet my dark creature and destroy each other. I definitely relate and I think your words are powerful.

  3. jfb57 says:

    Oh this is fabulous Sally-Jayne. I love the fact that her appearances are not limited to the darkness. I can so associate with that one. Brilliant, brilliant writing.

  4. Taochild says:

    Pretty sure we all have that evil twin inside. Mine even manages to switch places with me at times! You do seem to have yours well locked up though 😀

  5. I really liked that, and something I could relate too.; the negative, critical, punitive voice that resides in us all. The way you wrote about it clearly conjured the witch achetype for me.

  6. Sally says:

    Very clever, I enjoyed this piece.

  7. If you’re a freak we all are. I think we all have that twin within us – to a greater or lesser extent of viciousness. Maybe we could channel them to better use?

  8. Inspired. Specially love the last two lines.

  9. Miriam says:

    My twin escapes much too often. Brilliant writing!

  10. I relate to this very much. At the moment my twin is running loose as usual. She hasn’t spent much time locked down, but I try to stay focused on getting her there. You called out her cruelties so well in this story.

  11. Gilly Gee says:

    Another saboteur! tell her thanks very much but you don’t need her any more because you’re okay on your own. A really good use of the prompt 🙂

  12. Love it! I think you did a great job with the prompt.

  13. helen1950 says:

    I know her well … she comes my way … but not I am afraid with such eloquence … lovely

  14. I love your secure box! Yes, I have one of those lurking pests too. I’m getting more skilled at recognizing its attacks, though – fortunately it has only a couple of favorite themes and isn’t very creative with them.

    Your description of her is beautifully written – such vivid imagery, and not a wasted word!

  15. I LOVE this. I can definitely relate, and next time I am feeling this, I will remember your words: ‘She doesn’t get out much. I keep her locked in a box crafted from Love, in the tower of Hope, guarded by Contentedness.’ Great writing, thank you!

  16. onlinefunland says:

    Beautiful !

  17. DancingInTheRain says:

    Sally-Jayne – this is absolutely fantastic. Wonderful. So very true. I would never have thought of putting it like that – such an unusual train of thought – you are a wonderful writer. My daughter has taught me a good way of dealing with her when she tries to prevent me doing something: I’m to tell myself, ‘Okay, I’ve already heard the ‘no’ (from my evil twin), so there’s no harm in trying because there’s nothing left to lose – and it might even be a ‘yes'”. She is so right. I’ve found it works in many situations this past year. Once again – fabulous.

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