The Calling

Anya’s friends had been pleased for her when she was called, but also a little sad. Those who were called never came back. She hugged Kefu tightly. “See you on the outside when your time comes.”

Now strapped to a gurney, and looking at the girl in the bed opposite, identical to her in every way, she knew she should have seen the writing on the wall when she had received extra rations to fatten her up.

Her last thought, before her memories were erased and replaced with Halli’s, which had been saved onto disc, was that she wouldn’t recognise Kefu when his time came.

This post is part of the 100 Word Challenge for Grown-Ups at Julia’s Place.

If you found your way here without reading the start, you might want to go back to Them and Us, Anya and Halli.

This entry was posted in Flash Fiction, Teen Fiction and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to The Calling

  1. Anna Halford says:

    Curiouser and curiouser. This makes me think back to Robin Cook (Coma , contagion amongst others) medical thrillers and Michael Crichton. Super piece again. How did you manage to write these after OFSTED? Adrenaline high? Go on- link them onto the 100 word site; they deserve it (something’s starting here methinks!)

    • sjbteaching says:

      Still not sure about linking them. I wrote them because the story was in my head, but I think 2 entries is probably enough to unleash on the other 100WCGUers! I know Ré write a 5 part story last time, but my writing isn’t as grown-up as hers.

  2. Really enjoyed this, it’s got my imagination racing, it reminds me of that film, The Island.
    I had to go back and read loads of your previous posts to get a ‘fix’.
    I agree with Anna you should link them all xx

  3. ventahl says:

    A ha! Vindicated! Why fix the body, when you can upload yourself or others to a new one! Of course, the interesting dilemma is, is the soul copied as well , or is the ‘mind’ just a copy like the body? I would have used ‘crystal’ instead of disk but I’m being picky – it might be a huge disk or made of something extraordinary. Think they might even be using organic machines by then if they could grow clones. The touching emotional content was the main focus and that got to me. Makes you wonder about ‘human rights’ in a society that could do this, unless, of course, clones don’t have them, despite being genetically identical, bred only for the rich. Selective moral conscience. Chilling.

    • Sally-Jayne says:

      I did ponder over the word disc for a while, wondering whether I should use something more futuristic. But the more I thought about what word to use, the more I realised that we often use older words for modern things out of habit, even when they’re not really correct.

      I still talk about taping/videoing something off the TV, even though I mean saving it on my skybox, and I know I’m not alone in that. People still go to record shops even though there’s not a vinyl circular object still to be found in HMV. And we still give people a ring, although I don’t know of anyone who has a phone that rings these days – plays a tune, beeps, buzzes, trills yes….but not rings.

      So in the finish I decided to stick with disc.

  4. Wadiya mean your writing isn’t grown up? This is great writing. It tells the story in a way that had me clicking through, often without stopping to comment – sorry, eager to find out what happened next. What more do you want from a story? Love it. Love the whole concept of clones raised as substitute bodies and that minds can be saved on discs. Well done!

    • Sally-Jayne says:

      Thanks for your kind words. I still feel quite shy about my writing – everyone else who takes part seems to have such a spohisticated way with words. I always feel mine is quite childish in comparison. I’m really glad you enjoyed the story though.

  5. Ian Braisby says:

    Wow, excellent series of stories. Wondered how they were going to link up and then found a great payoff at the end.
    Just a thought – if JK Rowling had written this series, it would have started as the 100 Word Challenge and finished as the 800 Word Challenge! So well done on keeping the concise style all the way through – that’s what gives it drama.

  6. jfb57 says:

    I’m really enjoying this series Sally-Jayne. It has a compelling atmosphere that has drawn me to the characters. You mention that you feel others’ writing is more sophisticated but I read some very complex threads here. You are building characters which is not easy. you have me glued so you must be doing something right! 😉

  7. Lisa Wields Words says:

    Wow, I did not see this coming, but this whole story is fascinating. It kind of reminds me of the Handmaid’s Tale where fertile women are nothing but servants to the powers that be. I want more of this story.

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