Flat Batteries in my Hearing Aid

This unreasonable leather?
The unfeasible feather?
The unseasonal weather,

has taken your blouses?
mistaken your trousers?
… made you feel drowsy.

Your wimple is slopin’?
The wind has got dope in?
The window is open.

Your chicken is slicin’?
Your dingo has icin’?
Your drink has got ice in,

and Sally got shot?
you’re silly, you clot?
and still you’re too hot.

Your hippos got cloned?
Your harpies have flown?
You’re happy I phoned.

There’s a priest on a hen?
We’ll eat peas on Big Ben?
Will I please phone again?

Yes, but only if you speak up next time.

This post is part of the 100 Word Challenge for Grown-Ups at Julia’s Place.

This entry was posted in Flash Fiction, Poetry and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

26 Responses to Flat Batteries in my Hearing Aid

  1. Dughall McCormick says:

    This. Is. Brilliant!

  2. Steve says:

    That’s two in a row with a great and unexpected take. My kind of poetry!!

  3. Bill Dameron says:

    That was excellent! Kept me guessing until the very end and really surprised me.

  4. Andy wts says:

    Class! Though I smiled at Santa, this is truly masterful 😮

    • sjbteaching says:

      Thanks. I nearly didn’t post this coz it seemed so childish compared to the poetry that everyone else has been writing, but it seems to have got a good reaction so far.

  5. Anna Halford says:

    What a brilliant take on the prompt ! Made me think of that Fawlty towers episode with the lady who was hard of hearing 😀

  6. Lynda says:

    This made me laugh! A brilliant piece of work. I read it twice, then just read the last line of each verse again. Fan—tastic!

  7. says:

    This reads like a wonderful nonsense poem until the explanation gives you an extra chuckle and the desire to go back and read it again. 🙂

  8. PollyBurns2 says:

    I love this. I am very bad at any sort of poetry, so really admire people who can do it so well. This is my kind of verse. It made me laugh out loud. I can just see my dad sitting in a chair trying to hear whoever is on the telephone.

    • sjbteaching says:

      Thanks Polly. It took me several weeks to pluck up the courage to try out a poem, and even having written it I nearly chickened out when it came to posting the link, but everyone has been really encouraging about it.

  9. Alison Green says:

    Just like trying to talk to my Mum! Love the take on the prompt, it made me giggle.

  10. GSussex says:

    Amazing! So original and engaging! You must be pleased with this piece?!!

  11. Julia says:

    Oh my goodness! You are spoiling me with two entries! This is just so clever. You said you don’t ‘do’ poetry but you clearly DO! Fabulous & so clever.

  12. sjbteaching says:

    Thanks Julia, I’m not sure I’m going to try poetry again, but I’m glad people like it.

  13. Han says:

    I loved both but I think Santa was my favourite lol.

    • sjbteaching says:

      Sorry Hannah – didn’t mean to ignore you. My spam filter got a bit overzealous and filtered you out…I’ve only just found your comments. I’ve now marked you as “Definitely NOT Spam”!

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