Alarms and Me

I waited till the security guard seemed distracted, and casually strolled towards the exit, hoping I’d get away with it, but knowing I wouldn’t. The alarm went off. I’m not a shoplifter. I just set alarms off everywhere I go. I even set them off walking INTO shops. And don’t get me started on the trouble I have at airports…

I think it’s my electric personality. Seriously. I’m a walking bundle of static electricity. I get shocks from everything, especially people. So if you hear me set off an alarm, don’t think badly of me. And never shake my hand without earthing yourself first.


This post is part of the 100 Word Challenge for Grown-Ups at The Head’s Office

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14 Responses to Alarms and Me

  1. Lynda says:

    Shocking! I have trouble with supermarket trollies in particular – fine while holding the plastic coated handle but dare to catch the metal parts with the tip of your finger and ouch! I love the way you did a different take on the alarm thing!

  2. Anna Halford says:

    This rings true! I’m always getting shocks off things. Very annoying. This captured the annoyance of the situation.

  3. Bill Dameron says:

    Love it! That was very well done and humorous. It comes accross as genuine.

  4. Julia says:

    Oh what a great piece. It has an air of comedy but grounded in a serious aspect to. I will ceetainly keep a slightly wide berth if we ever fly together!!

    • sjbteaching says:

      It’s for the best. I’ve given people some nasty shocks in my time. And I don’t think I’ve ever made it through at an airport without being stopped. I empty pockets, remove belts, watches, glasses, shoes, rings, necklaces…and still the alarms go off!

      • Andy wts says:

        I’ve heard of this, some people have increased neuroactivity and prone to static discharge. Guess that should boost your creativity. Just don’t smoke or drink too much before bed … like you do! ;p
        Appreciate the insight …
        ps Fearne’s story is also true, but I heard it from Jim’s POV.

  5. Lisa (Woman Wielding Words) says:

    Fun. I used to make street lights go on or off whenever I walked under them. I also couldn’t wear watches for a while, because they would stop. Maybe you and I have matching electric personalities. 😀

    • sjbteaching says:

      Oh I have trouble with watches too. Not battery ones funnily enough, but clockwork ones keep perfect time for weeks if I leave them in a drawer, but gain 5-10 minutes in a day when I wear them.

      If you and I ever met we’d either make sparks fly or cancel each other out and disappear. Probably safest to stick to reading each other’s blogs just in case!

  6. susankmann says:

    I love this piece, it’s so true. I do the same thing. I have set so many alarms off walking into shops. And give people static shocks. Very well written x

    • sjbteaching says:

      Thanks Susan. I’m starting to feel reassured now that I can see I’m not the only one! Can you imagine what would happen if we all ever ended up in the same room at the same time?

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